The need to be self-indulgent

So, I’m unemployed for the first time in my life. Apart from being a student and having the odd gaps between study and proper ‘grown-up’ jobs, this last week has been the first time I’ve ever had to think about the structure of my day aside from the usual getting up, eating, washing, sleeping and checking my emails, as I do first thing anyway. Besides the very important job-hunting, there’s little else to do and being essentially a very social person who needs other people to bounce off, I’m finding these long daytimes don’t exactly stimulate me.

On the other hand, it feels strangely like being eighteen again, in that long hot summer before university started. Well, it might not have been that long and hot, but everything looks rosier in retrospect! I had my mum’s car at my disposal, plenty of friends in the same position and what seemed like unbridled freedom. I hadn’t got a care in the world and a hugely exciting three years of being away from home ahead of me.

Seven years on I’m lucky to have been able to shape my life quite happily, and I’ve reaped the benefits of being a bit more sorted and with somewhat more direction in my life. Leaving my last job was a temporary setback – perhaps knocking my self-belief somewhat – but it was the right thing to do and those eight months have now been safely deposited in the dustbin of history. At least I’ve got the time and mental space to meaningfully look for something else. Every morning I’m getting quite excited by the prospect of working for more dynamic and exciting organisations, so there’s hope yet. And a holiday in a few weeks time should help recharge my batteries even more, in preparation for the next challenge.

This evening I’ll be doing my volunteering at the London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard, which I’m looking forward to, as I’ve not done a shift in a few weeks. At least I can listen to other peoples' problems on the phones in the knowledge that my worries aren’t all that bad!

A listening post

For the past couple of years I've been searching for the perfect volunteering opportunity, since deciding I wanted something to fill the rather empty gap between work and play.

Apparently, I'm quite a good listener, and I've always wanted to get involved in a cause where I can use those skills to help someone through a problem. I really believe people can be helped through their demons by listening to someone who's got the time and willingness to hear them, helping them through logical steps and positive thought to find solutions.

Personally, I guess I was brought up in the 'pull yourself together and get on with it' school of thought, but that doesn't mean I'm somehow emotionally distant or incapable of showing it when I've got a problem. Perhaps that's a sort of strength - a sign of a true Taurean maybe - but it makes it all the more frustrating for me when other people don't talk about their problems!

Towards the end of last year, I thought that the London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard might seem the perfect outlet for my skills. After an interview back in January they offered me a place on their core assessment training (CAT) course. I tried something quite similar once during my university days - it was 'Niteline' then - or 'Gayline' on Wednesday nights. I remember getting very passionate and angry when the union decided to close it down and even took motions to our union council condemning it. University distractions and the lure of the pub meant that I never persevered with it.

Last night was the second session, in which we learnt lots of useful tricks on how to answer a call. For example, 80% or so of communication is through face to face contact, so you have to make up for it on the phone. You can give verbal 'nods' so a caller knows you're listening, and callers can be encouraged to divulge more of their problem through reflection and 'echoing' of the question. I've started to irritate Andy already with my practice of my new-found skills in everyday conversation. I don't want to give away too much about the training here, because it's probably not the done thing!

I think this might turn into quite a worthwhile distraction for me - the course is very well run, and I'm confident I can reach the standard required to pass and become a fully-fledged volunteer. It'll also be another string to my bow in terms of communication skills - I passed the first stage of British Sign Language level one course last week. There's still a long way to go with both, but the journey's immensely enjoyable.

London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard
020 7837 7324 (daily 10am -11pm)